Stuck.

So lately I've been really heavy about buying my bf a ring. After observing myself and him for the past couple of weeks, I will not be giving him a ring anytime soon.

Things between us get good, then bad, and repeat.

I thought I could bring myself to become more mature and understanding - and I did, for a little while. But then my immature and impatient side always manages to come out.

I have come to the conclusion that I am just not ready.

On Thursday afternoon I had a talk with my mom about my dad. I didn't say much to her. I can't.

I broke down and cried in my room. 

So I called Jayson, because he's the only person I can confide to about this subject. Turns out he was busy, and that was understandable. But I just really needed someone to talk to. I told him I'd just talk to him about it later that night. Later that night when I called him, he immediately wanted to go to sleep. Yeah, it was late and he was tired... but he didn't even bother to ask me what was wrong until I had already decided to just sleep. The next day, Friday, he just didn't ask me at all about my problem. Not once that whole day did he ask me. That makes me wonder just how much HE really cares about the problems that truly affect me. So that has been making me act like a bitch. 

Anyways...

I've been crying a lot lately. No one knows.