I'm beginning to really question how much personal freedom I have with Jayson.
We've only been together for a little over a year, and already we've got each other tied in the neck by a rope.
I've been trying to understand him more and abide by what makes him comfortable, but that comes at a cost - my own personal freedom to make the choices that I want for myself.
It's as if we have our own little world, in which everything revolves around us. Everything I do must be alright with him; who I hang out with, who I talk to, who I look at, what I wear, who's event we go to... blah blah blah. The list goes on.
...But what about my own personal life? I'd like to think I still have one, too. As much as he says we're "practically married", we're really not.
*Sigh* I only have myself to blame, for whatever I'm feeling. And yes, I can be contradictory at times. One day I could be saying how ready I am for a future with him, and the next, I could be saying how much I'm not. Well, I got myself into this mess. I just wish I knew how extremely difficult it was going to be... Am I ready to give you ALL of me?
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